Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in lost_in_a_smile's LiveJournal:

Saturday, January 31st, 2004
8:07 pm	and I cry some times when Im lying in bed just to get it all out whats in my head and I feel a little peculyer I don't know write now how I feel I gues peculyer is just it I dont know how to feel I fell A lone and scard I dont know why my best friend is now hang out with the biy how beat and sexaly abused me and It scars me that he can get so close to every one I know evn my best fried he still runs by me hous evey day and the thought of him say I know where you live fills my head night and day I cant tell you how it feels to live with scars all over you body from some one how got no punish ment I will not ever be the same I am so scard of every one I want evey one to think I am tuff but every time some one moves the are fast I flich because I think I am going to be hit (YOU SEE BENIT O'DANALED THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME AND MY LIFE) I hate I hate you with all my hart, memorys of you of youv voice the awlfull things youd say still fill my head, mightmars of the beatings I took still fill my nights, the scars on my body wont go away and they neave will there just one more reminder of how I wasent stronge anofe to keep you away and now you come close again I have my best friend defending you say ing your not that bad. Well you are. I have one question to ask you how does it fell to be living free when you wher wrong, to know that I am traped in the fear of you and the haterd of my self because I waent good anof to keep you away.. How does it feel!!! Current Mood: scared (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 23rd, 2004
12:28 pm	another poem war sping in darkness light sess to be found and scilence moves ever broken bone around, lifes are sping out of controle, and scilence screems a deathning sound as shreds of distruction fly throught the air seeming to crusifyeverything that is there fiers raise up and th city falls down burning through hells living night and the flames seem to glow with a develish delight and Lucifer laughts foer he has wone,the flames slowly die and the ashis reval the distruction we'v caused are world will neaver heel.   Current Mood: artistic (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
9:26 am	board Ya so any how I am board to death in Keyboarding class, I am suppose to be typing an easy on The Value Of Work Experience but I really don’t want to. I think I want to write down a few quotes and maybe another poem so I think I will “to existed in the world is to not exist in life” ok one more though this really is not a quote but o well “ How are you today… No really how are you” and hears a poem A Letter You Will Never Read… I know how it hurts. I know how every time your eyes meat there’s, a sharp pain of anger and betrayal hits you. I know the promise to never open up to any one again so as not to be hurt, because you know your sole couldn’t survive betrayal like that again. I know how hard it is to look strong when every stupid comment cuts deep into a place they don’t even know existed. I know what its like to be different to have a mind of your own in a world full of copies. I know that fearing the ones that care anofe to except all the scares left behind comes from the pain that has been suffered. Standing tall with your swards up ready to fight anyone how dare come to close. I know if you just put down your swards for just one second allowing people to see what I once glimpsed, your strength would be greater (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 13th, 2004
12:58 pm	thank you Maggie Maggie you are the best I just wanted to tell you thank you, you always make me smile I really needed some one to make me smile today. ya so any how I quite dance fore like two weaks and them the teacher called up and beged me to come back and I said i did'nt have the mony and she said that she would let me wwok for her so now I still dance and i a woorking for her to woopdy dooo. o well but hay. has any one had one of thous day when it seems like know one knows you exsist and every one see throught you well that was my day but o well baby it's better not to exsist than to be looked down on.... well any how I diside to put some of the things I write in my jurnal so hear is a pome I wrote the tother day Black Box's a tiny prick with an endless paine, I secrit desier that some how brings the same the, time folds slowly in to it's self, and some where a flower opends to revel all we are with out. The mind works quick but slow to the eye, black box's open and we pass them by and some where out there a hart beat slowes and people move so on one knows, and we are left to defend are selfs from black box's like lifes living hell... I hope you like it (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 9th, 2004
4:35 pm	new journal OK well I did not like my other journal so I got a new one I am still grouned so I wount be able to up date very often but o well I like this name better so I gess it all good. well this is my lame first entry so I guess I am done. Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)